If i am infertile because of obesity, i should be fat enough that my period stopped coming - in other words, irregular cycle. But my menstrual cycle always came beautifully. No problem with that. My parents have no fertility issues. My father has 11 children (incl. half siblings) and my mother never experience miscarriage, and have 5 kids. My aunties too. No problem at all. Except my eldest auntie (mother's side) she lost, if im not mistaken, 4 kids. The reason? Sadness. She had terrible life back then.
Here, i can relate to myself. And i want to come up with a summary or conclusion of my journey. Here we go.
July: Raya month. Because i want to surprise my family with my pregnancy. But didnt work. Why? Because we didnt make love every night. And after the fertile window finished, we go back to having sex with condom.
August: We had sex every night. BUT, only within fertile window. As soon as it finished, we went back using condom.
September: We made sure to make love every night after i finished my period. So we did. Almost quarter of a month without fail. But this task made us tired, and it became a chore. Not fun. Sometimes i wasnt even wet. We thought everything was okay. But during my fertile window, we had a terrible fight. We didnt speak, i cried everyday and night. And the only thing i think about was just, divorce! But still i forced myself to continue sleeping and have sex with him, only to get pregnant. And i thought, even if we divorced, at least i have a kid. What a wicked thought! So, i am sure, this time, stress and depression has prevented me from getting pregnant.
I dont want to stop trying. We will try again as soon as i finished this cycle. And we will do it better this time. I love him. I truly love him. And i truly want his baby. Our mixed baby! I hope things will be alright. And this will be the last period for 9 months to come.
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