Third World Country Victim

Lately my husband looks sad and unmotivated. Sometimes words like, i miss my country, malaysia is not good for me, just slipped through his tongue. I understand how it feels like to be him. If it was me i will be complaining and feel suicidal. I just cant live like that. I dont know what to do to help him.

He was on his way to immigrate to canada when we first met. But because i have no bachelors degree, i cant come along. So, he ignored that ambition and went straight for marriage. I asked him many times about this decision. And he looked so sure back then. Now, when he tastes the reality, the awareness came into his mind.

I dont even like my own country. There are so many things malaysia should change to provide comfortable living for the citizens. The service in government offices. Facilities. Public transport. The weather is another thing. It limits us from doing many things. We become lazy and stay inside like lizards and frogs. No wonder when chinese and indian first arrived in tanah melayu, they said malays are lazy. Its not their fault. Its the weather!

I feel really bad for my husband. He said he can never mix with his colleagues. Well, they speak to him. But only a few words. Malays will hang out with malays. Chinese will hang out with their own race. And he will sit alone with no gang. Pity him. I wish i can do something to help him. Maybe apply job in another country? I suggested dubai. He used to work in dubai. And he said dubai is worse. The weather is bad. And it will be a strange land for both of us. At least in malaysia, i am a citizen.

I suggest him to go on a holiday. But he's so stingy about his annual leave. The pay each day the company pays him about 1++.  So he doesnt want to let go of his 2++ or 3++ pay for the holiday. I know holiday will make him feel better. Tioman island looks nice. And i think it will be pefect for both of us. Since we've never gone anywhere alone. And its good to conceive there. And when i'm pregnant, it wont be easy for us to move around anymore. And if we have a kid, it will definitely not be good cos the kid dont understand the vacation and cant enjoy it as much as adult. Too much fuss with the carrier and bottles and baby food maybe. I dont know. Just thinking of it makes me cringe cos i've always been a light traveller and it doesnt appeal to me, the idea of carrying your baby around for vacation.

So, i dont know. I should talk to him again. Maybe he doesnt understand about how awesome it is to go to the island and swim with fishes. It will make him fall in love with this country. At least.