Third World Country Victim

Lately my husband looks sad and unmotivated. Sometimes words like, i miss my country, malaysia is not good for me, just slipped through his tongue. I understand how it feels like to be him. If it was me i will be complaining and feel suicidal. I just cant live like that. I dont know what to do to help him.

He was on his way to immigrate to canada when we first met. But because i have no bachelors degree, i cant come along. So, he ignored that ambition and went straight for marriage. I asked him many times about this decision. And he looked so sure back then. Now, when he tastes the reality, the awareness came into his mind.

I dont even like my own country. There are so many things malaysia should change to provide comfortable living for the citizens. The service in government offices. Facilities. Public transport. The weather is another thing. It limits us from doing many things. We become lazy and stay inside like lizards and frogs. No wonder when chinese and indian first arrived in tanah melayu, they said malays are lazy. Its not their fault. Its the weather!

I feel really bad for my husband. He said he can never mix with his colleagues. Well, they speak to him. But only a few words. Malays will hang out with malays. Chinese will hang out with their own race. And he will sit alone with no gang. Pity him. I wish i can do something to help him. Maybe apply job in another country? I suggested dubai. He used to work in dubai. And he said dubai is worse. The weather is bad. And it will be a strange land for both of us. At least in malaysia, i am a citizen.

I suggest him to go on a holiday. But he's so stingy about his annual leave. The pay each day the company pays him about 1++.  So he doesnt want to let go of his 2++ or 3++ pay for the holiday. I know holiday will make him feel better. Tioman island looks nice. And i think it will be pefect for both of us. Since we've never gone anywhere alone. And its good to conceive there. And when i'm pregnant, it wont be easy for us to move around anymore. And if we have a kid, it will definitely not be good cos the kid dont understand the vacation and cant enjoy it as much as adult. Too much fuss with the carrier and bottles and baby food maybe. I dont know. Just thinking of it makes me cringe cos i've always been a light traveller and it doesnt appeal to me, the idea of carrying your baby around for vacation.

So, i dont know. I should talk to him again. Maybe he doesnt understand about how awesome it is to go to the island and swim with fishes. It will make him fall in love with this country. At least.

His Kiss

 So today i saw this picture of them on their wedding. How sweet isnt it? When i look at them i can feel the happiness. And that sweet kiss Brad gave to Angelina, i can safely say that i also have that kiss now. My husband's kiss is the sweetest kiss in the world.

This morning, near dawn, i was dreaming in my sleep. I was entering this world of ugly men. I dont know how i stumbled upon them. So, this one particular man, he fell in love with me. And suddenly all of these men stripped their clothes. Naked. They said, lets see who has the biggest penis. LOL. And so i was really freaked out. That man, the one who fell in love with me. He approached me with bad intention. And he held me really tight. He was trying to rape me. I was crying for help. But nobody came to help. I had a phone in my hand and i tried to call my husband. He saw that phone and stopped my hand from dialing. I was very desperate. So i grab his crotch and scratch it really deep with my nails.

Suddenly i woke up with a question in my ear, "Honey, are you dreaming?"

I opened my eyes and realized i was in my husband's arms all this time. I gave him a weak nod. I told him about the dream. And he said, "I kissed you when i realized you were dreaming in your sleep. You scratched my back you know."

LOL.

He said he always kiss my lips when he saw me dreaming. And soon after, i'll wake up.

Isn't he the sweetest husband ever?

^__________^

Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy Review

Whether you're pregnant or not, this book will give you a good laugh. Its not a book with full guide about pregnancy. In this book she tells you about her experience of carrying a baby for 9 months. And how someone as hot as her, needs to change from wearing G-string all her life into going for wearing granny panties.

This book is not boring. That i can guarantee you. In fact you'll be reading fast and loyal because you want to find out what happen when she give birth. I did finish this book. And i want others to read this too. Especially women who are pregnant for the first time.

I'll rate this book 8 out of 10.

About Elly Review

Iranian movies are one of the best movies in the world. They dont really go for complicated issues like what hollywood does. They will elaborate one small matter in life. As small as going out with your friends without telling for family about it.

Its really a small matter in life. I did that a lot. And i even know a friend who fly here and there to the end of the world without her parents knowledge. Just because, well, as always. The reason why we dont wanna tell them is because we dont want them to worry. And when they're worried they'll ask question we dont want to hear.

So, this movie is about a group of friends. Three married couples with their kids. And a single couple who are in the process of getting to know each other. They go to the North of Iran for holiday. And they stay in this old house with nice view of ocean just in their front yard.

The single woman, named Elly. She was mysterious from the start. As they try to fix the old house and try to make things fun and enjoyable around the house. Elly was asked to look after one of the kid who's stubbornly playing in the water.

Suddenly things get tense, and the boy was almost drowned in the ocean. But thank god he was saved by his father. But then, Elly was missing. Early conclusion, Elly is drowned in her effort of helping the boy. But then they all have another thought. What if Elly left the boy alone in the ocean and ran away.

Starting from this point, many issues arise. And it makes us wonder about things we do in our life. Simple things like keeping a secret from our parents can be BIG if something unwanted happen.

This is just a great movie. Intelligent. Full of realism. I recommend everyone to watch this. Its 9.5 out of 10.

10 Things I'm Thankful For

I noticed i rant a lot in my life. I have to admit. I am a bitter person. I cant say its because of upbringing. Its in my genes. Yes. Theres nothing i can do about it. I was born with this trait. Which is something that i cant be thankful for. But i will try to sit and think about things that im thankful for. At least, for one minute of my life, i'll be doing it.

1. For being married. This is one of my life goal. And i want to do it before i reach 30. And i did.

2. For i dont need to go to work. I can stay home and do whatever i want. This is the best thing anyone could ever asked for.

3. For my husband. Best gratitude of my life. He's a foreigner. An engineer. Handsome. He cares for me. Soft spoken. Respect me and he never raised voice at me. He is a good man.

5. For my previous pregnancy. So i know that i have the ability to get pregnant.

6. For the miscarriage. I was sad, obviously. But i had the chance to experience it and one day i can share the story with other people. And it makes me understand the feelings of women who have no kids.

7. For the internet. I cant live without it. Though its a limited internet. But its portable. And i have access to the world.

8. For the money i have. I can buy anything i want. ANYTHING i want. Because i never want anything expensive. So i can afford everything that i want.

9. For this rental house. I can think about decorating. Me and husband we have freedom. I can cook and clean for my husband. I am happy with it.

10. For my parents. Because i owed them a lot. I got married with their helps. Everything i have now is because of them.

Infertile?

Finally i know how it feels like to be so desperate to have a baby. We have tried to conceive for two months now. And we've waited patiently for 2 months. We tried hard to conceive. It puzzles me. Why? After so much effort. TMI, i know, but we made love every night during my fertile window. We dont wanna miss the egg. But still we missed it.

After 35 days, precisely 5 weeks since my last period aka 'pregnancy'. I have my period. Thats 7 days late! I have never been that late before. 

Very frustrating. Very!!

This time i will do everything i can to get a baby. People said taking evening primrose oil will help. I will go to pharmacy tonight to get one. And i made my husband take folic acid starting from today. I want to improve his fertility. 

I had my meltdown moment just now after reading all the sad stories about women who have tried for years to conceive. One of them have been waiting for 9 years! I cant imagine waiting that long. I just cant! I've been married for 7 months now. I want a baby sooooo much. It is time for me to get pregnant. I want to give him a child. 

Maybank Senai

babi punya maybank. receptionist kat depan betina tu. dahla hodoh. dengan contacts kelabu nya macam orang asli. muka hodoh nak mampus. pukimak! aku tau cipap dia busuk bernanah. sebab tu berlagak macam tahik anjing.

celaka betul betina babi tu. aku memang harap kau mampus hari ni. biar engkau kena hempap dengan lori taik. biar kau mati dalam busuk. dahla mata tu buta. nak berlagak macam kuasa besar! tak padan dengan tak sekolah. masuk u pun tak pernah. setakat dok kat depan maybank je tak payah nak beriya lah. aku buat kesat bontot aku je.

babi!