1. what happened?
- today i spent lots of money paying for A's fee. Been feeling negative when i looked at the teacher cause i haven't paid the fee yet. But when i opened orbit, turned out they've taken down all the payment regquirements in pkp. Well, no one would pay anyway. And it's fair! Second, i paid prudential. Then the biggest sucker of them all, car insurance! Platinum is RM950 + RM80 roadtax.
- yesterday we sent A to school for the first time after pkp. We fixed his teeth so we have no worries anymore. Then we went to jpj to renew M's license. So far i feel lighter as the burdens have lifted off my shoulders. We went to Kak N's house to visit Amn who broke his thigh in the accident. Donated RM50 and i think it made them happy. That made me happy and relieved too cause they always behave as though i am owing them something cause they're the ones who bail us out of jail. But anyway i'll keep donating if they're in any sort of situation cause i dont wanna owe no one. And i cant stand it when people look at me and expecting me to bow down at them cause i OWE them.
2. relationship with my husband is shitty right now. He kept complaining on the way to school until we almost hit another car. Then complained again on the way home after fetching A from school cause his ducks are outside in the rice field and that motherfucker is poisoning the snails. Sooo, complain. Keep complaining. One thing that snapped my patience was when i wanted to call my mother and asked her to help. He said no need, she already washed many things. He kept saying that my mother always washes for us and we never helped. Well, i have thousands of things to say and reply to him. Like, you as a man should give me a house, provide me a space of my own so i could clean my own home. Have my own space to be however i wanna be. To do whatever i wanna do. Grow and teach my son, have so much time in hand and be so organized. So many points to argue. But i chose to shut my mouth cause if i did, he'd hang himself dead.
- my mother - shes been feeling painful on the left leg so i massaged her. i do have this feelings that she doesnt like me. her bad words kept repeating in my head, like that one time she told A, no you can't take anything in the shop cause your father didn't leave any money to me. When i repeat those words in my head, i would have this sudden heat rise up to my head. Anger. Why dont you ask your favourite daughter to massage you?
- my son - we've been good. Not being angry with him for a long time. He's playful, love to tease. And i like that about him. Being palyful and teasing is really important for a boy. That means he has a good sense of humour. I hope he'll keep being this funny.
- my siblings - Okay. Z and K are not talking because of parking. And i dont really care about it.
- my niece - Okay.
3. no trouble that keeps repeating. Just have this urge to write so much! I want to write a story. And i dont mind if nobody reads it. I just want to let it out of my head.
4. talk of the town right now and my opinion?
people are arguing about rapist. like who you should put the blame on. it is not an issue at all for me. woman can dress however they like. they dont touch no one. it's the rapist who went over the boundary and assaulted her. simple. why do we call them the rapist? cause they did the action. they raped!
5. my discovery/ new knowledge?
cant think of one right now.
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