11.9.2014

My husband didnt come home for lunch today. Said its busy there in the office. I feel stuck here. Bored to death. There are food in the kitchen but i shouldnt eat. Cos this is the best time for me to skip meal. Though it wont shed a kilo of me. But, i dont know. Feels good to torture myself like this. -__-

I just finished watching Black Book movie which i just made a review just now.  Lately i feel so lazy to cook. Maybe because we dont have much variety to cook? I dont know. I basically cook the same thing. We cant buy too much grocery because our fridge is very freaking small. Verrrryyyyyy small. You cant put nothing in there!

But i try to make do with it. One chicken and a few fishes. I also need to buy veggies that can survive long storage time. Like cabbage, carrots, cucumber, aubergine and tomatoes. I love green veggies like kangkung, sawi and salad. But too bad we can never have them unless its the day of our shopping.

Today i cooked sambal goreng. And thats it. No chicken no fish. Im dying to put them in my mouth. Tempted!! But i have to wait for him to come home. Two hours more. T__T

From 2016 - my upbringing

Growing up I grew up free. No guidance or anything from anyone. My mother was too busy working. Many little siblings to take care of. Nobody had time to spend on me. To show me how to be a loving kind human. Nobody taught me how to be well behave. They only teach me religion. Well when you talk about religion, especially Muslims, most important things are just praying and fasting. Not becoming a good human.

I grew up with my younger sister. One old younger. And, i bullied her a lot. In our little shared room, everything in it belonged to me. I dominated everything. Because of this strong character, i stood out more than her. I was the queen of the family. Everybody listened to me. And the world revolved around me.

WRITING AGAIN

been thinking sbout this for so long. i loved my life back then when i had a routine of writing. i would write everyday. despite being busy or tired. what i did back then, i must do now. so i would have a peace of mind. right now, i have no one to talk to. everything gets bottled up inside it drives me nut. there are so many things i could talk about. that i could share with myself. i need to do this on a computer cause that would be a proper mood setting for me to start writing. what can i talk about? of course the thing that happened around me, that challenged my mood most, the event that keeps repeating and haunting me in my head, exploration/adventure i did or new knowledge i learn/discover. that would be better and more intelectualistic.

1. what happened?
 - today
- yesterday

2. relationship?
- my husband
- my mother
- my son
- my siblings
- my niece

3. troubles my head?
- a thought that keeps repeating

4. talk of the town right now and my opinion?

5. my discovery/ new knowledge?