Depression Mode

- going out so less often cause we earn less than our spending.

- that means meeting very few people

- stressful living here

- a is starting school but schools nearer are all full

- already paid rm190 for school holiday program.

- now i think that school is rubbish 

- and I’m sending my son to that rubbish place for that rm190

Business is Not Doing Well

That’s the thing about business. Today you’re on top. The next day, you’re nobody. 

I’ve been struggling a lot lately. First, people are stealing my photos. But that’s not what i wanna tak about tonight. I wana talk about something that’ll create beautiful mood. But then again, there are so many things going through my mind right now.

One of them is, potty training my son. It’s difficult!!

A and R

Annoying things about living in this house is the fact that i love R but at the same time sho loves to tease my son. But teasing to much is a trouble and its teribbly annoying. She would always grab toys from A's hands and if it happened once, my son would run after her. But then later it became too much and A would start to treat her bad. And then my mother and R mother would start blaming my son for being rough to her.

Then we would all grab our kids. Bring them into the room and we dont see each other anymore for the whole day. We'd be sour towards each other.

Lost

Feeling so lost lately especially when it comes to business. Feeling like my business is falling apart and i dont know how to fix it. Dont know which part should i lift first. I know everything about it. The key on how to raise it up. I knew everything about it. But my spirit is not there. No motivation at all.

Maybe cos i dont have a partner to share my thoughts with. Nobody to bring the business mood in me. My husband is definitely not the right person cause he is in the state of negativity where everything that comes from his mouth are complains and excuses. It's pain to sit and hear words from him.

My sister is too busy with job, travelling and watching koreans. No time for business talk at all. The business room is always a mess. So ugly and feel cluttered. So wrong and uncomfortable. I have no heart at all. Honestly. No motivation.

Me, too busy wasting time. Scrolling through personal social medias. Rarely open my business sites. Then later my reputation went down. People forgets us. No business.

It Ends With Us Book Review

Very nice book. Somehow it made you cling to it from the beginning. It's about physical abuse by your spouse. Women should really read this book. Having been in a marriage myself, it reall gives me a perspective over the real situation. A man is obviously more powerful than women. We have voice to loud we can fight them. But they used their power and strength to shut us up. And that is really not fair. If i ever got myself into that kind of situation i would definitely throw him out of the door.

4th Birthday

Tomorrow is your birthday. It is such a big deal because this year is the last year you’ll wake up late with us. You roam around the house free. Aimlessly. Keep calling me mummy mummy mummy till I’m tired of you. These moments won’t repeat again.

Next year you’ll go to school and the bullet train speed will start. Time will pass very quickly. At the end of it mummy and daddy’s already old. And suddenly in one blink of an eye you finished school and ready for adulthood. I could cry just thinking about it.

I wish I appreciate more time with you. Feels like I didn’t take enough photos of you. Didn’t have enough conversation with you. Didn’t teach you enough. Didn’t pay enough attention to you. I am really sorry for everything I’ve done and everything I didn’t do. I am not a perfect mother. I wish i could be better. So much better. You have a lot of potential. I wish i could protect you more. Give you a better life.

I wish you’ll make many friends and be loved by everyone. I wish you to be a fast thinker and great at making conversation. I wish you to be an excellent decision maker cause really that’s the most important thing in life. Making the right choice. I wish you to be happy and get to do what you love in life. Have courage and i will always love you no matter what. Happy birthday baby.

A Court of Thorns and Roses (honest review)

Liked it a lot at first. Though it sounds unreal that someone abducted you for killing his friend and want to have romantic relationship with you. (They’ll explain it later to you)

But the whole realms of faeries and all. That was all created only for the love of two people which is really boring. Cause that means THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND YOU! Only to prove your love is pure something like that.

I prefer the kind of theme like game of thrones or hunger games. Where the world at war or the world is in deep shit holes and suddenly out of nowhere there you are in love with someone. 

Chapter 20 upwards was really boring. It was all fighting and handsome here and there. Also being horny in the prison. Which i think is not necessary at all. 

My goodreads rating from me would be 3 out of 5.