Baby

I am on a very strict diet. I am doing this out of desperation to get pregnant. You know, one month from now, we'll celebrate our first anniversary. I think it has been 5 months since we're trying to conceive. Every months, waiting for period is like a battle of hopes. But the period came anyway. Even though it's not welcomed!

I really dont know why i didnt get pregnant yet. I think i am healthy enough for a baby. I am just overweight. Not that fat i think. I am fit. I have muscles and exercise. Compared to other people who are completely obese, i think i am a better obese. lol.. My half sister is also fat and she still can get pregnant. My second cousin is fatter than me. She's also pregnant. My period is perfect. I really have no clue of what's going on inside me. But whatever it is we're trying anyway. This time i hope my emotion is stable. Hormones and everything, i hope them to be in perfect condition so the egg and sperm can meet.

Last night i had a fight with my husband. It was not even to be called a fight. But whatever. What i'm trying to say is that i am finally accepting him into my life. Even when we had a fight, i dont have that feelings of wanting a divorce anymore. I have left the past. There is no way i can go back to it. I am looking forward into the future now. Waiting for another big thing which is a baby to change my life.When i look at my husband, i see a person whom i'm gonna spend the rest of my life with. A person who is so influential and the one who has withdrawn me from the darkest pit on earth.