7 Jan 2020

Finally a is at school. Its his first week of school.

DIALECT VS OFFICIAL BM

I think its time for me to write something about this. it is so annoying listening to people around me speaking in kl dialect. We are here in kelantan. Why cant you speak kelantanese? I really HATE it when people fake their dialect on social media. Especially around young kids. Like to prove that youve been speaking that way with them since forever. Man, if you wanna be different and special. teach them another language. teaching them to speak in another language doesnt make them any special or intelligent. I grew up speaking kelantanese. At 7 years old, i need to write sentences in proper bm, no problem at all!

Dont really know how to stop people from thinking this way. But i hope one day theyll understand that speaking kl doesnt make you a prodigy. When i went to a's school for registration. I explained to her how a cannot speak bm at all. Didnt mean to brag at all. Then i said, but his grandmother speak kelantanese with him. And her face was like "huh?". But we dont teach kelantanese in this school. We teach them proper bm. So what? I thought in my head. When i went home, i recalled this scene in my head. And i realized how she belittled us for speaking kelantanese in our household. Shit!

City vs Village

Saw people bragging on facebook. How their lives in the city is better than us here. I personally prefer living in the village. Nothing is outdated anymore. You got fast internet, we also got fast internet. I can access any info any second right at the tip of my fingers.Just like you city dwellers. But we inhale fresh air while you inhale smoke. aha


FREEDOM

- How lucky i am to live here, in a place close to nature. Woke up by the sound of birds on the bamboo tree right outside of my windows.
- We spend less money here cause we dont have the culture of strolling around shopping malls. I dont feel jealous at all when poeple take their kids out in shopping carts. Cause i love taking my son out to nature. Or playing in a playground. You gain NOTHING from walking in a shopping malls. It's a system created by greedy people. To encourage you to spend more. And now everyone fell victim to this system. You became a slave to money-spending-culture.
- We have less stress here as it is less demanding. Of course when we live close to each other like this, you'd have a little bit of misunderstanding. But it's nothing compared to travelling a far return trip, everyday to your workplace. Facing the traffic. Spending money on tolls.
- Live high up in the sky (apartments) out of touch from the soil. While here, i get to sniff soil everyday. There's something magical about soil that keep you stay sane.

Will always be that country girl.

Depression Mode

- going out so less often cause we earn less than our spending.

- that means meeting very few people

- stressful living here

- a is starting school but schools nearer are all full

- already paid rm190 for school holiday program.

- now i think that school is rubbish 

- and I’m sending my son to that rubbish place for that rm190

Business is Not Doing Well

That’s the thing about business. Today you’re on top. The next day, you’re nobody. 

I’ve been struggling a lot lately. First, people are stealing my photos. But that’s not what i wanna tak about tonight. I wana talk about something that’ll create beautiful mood. But then again, there are so many things going through my mind right now.

One of them is, potty training my son. It’s difficult!!

A and R

Annoying things about living in this house is the fact that i love R but at the same time sho loves to tease my son. But teasing to much is a trouble and its teribbly annoying. She would always grab toys from A's hands and if it happened once, my son would run after her. But then later it became too much and A would start to treat her bad. And then my mother and R mother would start blaming my son for being rough to her.

Then we would all grab our kids. Bring them into the room and we dont see each other anymore for the whole day. We'd be sour towards each other.

Lost

Feeling so lost lately especially when it comes to business. Feeling like my business is falling apart and i dont know how to fix it. Dont know which part should i lift first. I know everything about it. The key on how to raise it up. I knew everything about it. But my spirit is not there. No motivation at all.

Maybe cos i dont have a partner to share my thoughts with. Nobody to bring the business mood in me. My husband is definitely not the right person cause he is in the state of negativity where everything that comes from his mouth are complains and excuses. It's pain to sit and hear words from him.

My sister is too busy with job, travelling and watching koreans. No time for business talk at all. The business room is always a mess. So ugly and feel cluttered. So wrong and uncomfortable. I have no heart at all. Honestly. No motivation.

Me, too busy wasting time. Scrolling through personal social medias. Rarely open my business sites. Then later my reputation went down. People forgets us. No business.