I am MEAN

I just feel like i wanna have a fight. Soooo much. Just bring it on. I am so outrage with hatred now i dont know how to control it. I hate myself for being so soft and mellow. I am nothing without hatred. It is the hatred that keeps pushing me all this time. Im such a fool for trying to be a nice girl. Cos i was not born to be a princess.

I am the evil witch. I am the one who bullies!

I can hurt people. I am very good at hurting people. I know words that can hurt people. I am so talented with hurting people. The decision to be nice was the dumbest decision ever. I can make you cry with my words!

Writing, Exbf, Engineers, Mental Disorder

Wish i can start writing again. I know my writing can never be published. Most of them are rubbish, self absorbed, rubbish-talk stories. But, writing is really important to me. As it keeps my mind busy and i like to get drown in the story. Plotting, gets low and high with my characters emotions.

Think i will plot another story to make my mind busy. Not to be published. Only for my own satisfaction. Think i will start today. Yep, today.

Another thing happened in my life was, my exbf from germany sent a message to me again. Wishing me a happy new year. It was nothing much. But it has been more than a year. Maybe all the bad news he heard mentioning my country's name finally got to him. Well, i am married afterall. I will be honest with him. Maybe i am even pregnant by now. I wont lie that when i got the message i was shocked. What a big surprise, wasnt it? I loved him. I did. Sigh...

Yesterday my husband brought home one of his friend. As always, i had this fear of being an embarrassment to my husband. You know, i am fat. Not pretty. Not in fashion. But then i just shook them off. Tried to give the best i could.

Again, the depression i got from the econsave's cashier still got me.She's only 16 for god's sake. The problem is with me. With my brain.

Naming Your Baby

I think this article is super funny. So, the cool-naming-your-baby is not happening only in malaysia. But all over the world. LOL.. Well, i do want to have a cool name for my kids. I have to admit that. But not to the point of absurd or lame or stupid.

A piece of advice from the article :P

"Do not use double letters if you don't have to. Branlee. That's a real name. People have used it, just as they've used Kylee, Sandee, and thousands of other homemade names that deploy double e's and double n's wherever possible because…well, beecausee! It just looks betterr, doesn't it?! We're on the verge of triple letters. In two years, a Trissstyn will show up at your country day school and everyone's head will explode."

Horrid People

This is how it is like everytime when i go out with my husband.

STARES

This is the state where everybody claims themselves as 'MODERN' and as 'FIRST WORLD' as their neighbour, singapore. LOL. Big LOL for you.

I have few johor friends and yep, they are very 'malay' and proud. Though the truth is they're not malay at all. Every house i went, every family i knew, every people i know, they dont have malay talk. They only categorize themselves as jawa or banjar. That's all. So, obviously they are indonesians! LOLLLLL

It's just unbelievable that they can stare at you like a fool in public areas. Like we are some kind of show. Dont you know it's RUDE to stare at people? If you think indians in INDIA are stupid and low. Then you are no better than them. You are as stupid and low as them.

LOSERSSSS

Things I'll Teach My Kids

1. Hate strangers

2. Don't trust people

3. Be arrogant

4. Be angry if somebody offends you

Discrimination in Malaysia

The greatest lesson i ever learned in my life (since i live in this discriminative country) is to live in a nice residency area. Never live in an immigrant neighbourhood.

The rent here is not only expensive, but it's full of stupid people. This is entirely not my fault. We only had 2 days to look for house. So, this was a mistake from the start. But from now on, i know how to handle this. This will never happen again.

With this amount of rent, i can rent ourselves a nice apartment with pool. With playing ground, guarded with security. We were so naive. And now we need to continue living these shitty stupid lives with these uneducated people. Sooooo, third world country!

One more, starting from now on, i will go out of my house being angry and grumpy. Nothing can come my way when i'm angry. Cos when i'm angry, i can kill.

I HATE JOHOR AND EVERYTHING IN IT

(they're just a bunch of prouds with zero iqs)